Bros before Hoes

I'm not quite sure this title works for this post in the actual sense, but it's whatever. I'm in a bit of a situation. It's actually much like #7 on this list. Why is it that even though you are really good friends with a guy you get left in the dark when some other girl comes along? I don't quite understand it. It shouldn't be like that.

I guess this could happen with girlfriends too though. When they get a boyfriend it's new and exciting so they spend a majority of their time with them. I guess it's just so foreign to me, that I wouldn't know. I've heard stories of when this has happened, but it's never happened to me.

I have a friend who had a best friend who was a guy. They were inseparable. Everyone thought that they would end up getting married and living happily ever after, until her best friend met some other girl. He began to hang out with her more and more and forget about my friend. As time went on they became more and more distant. Then one day this kid decides to marry this other girl. Wait? What? Not cool. They went from being best friends to distant acquaintances.

This CAN'T be me. I hate that. Why is it like this? I honestly just don't understand it. I wish I knew what crazy thoughts go through a boys mind. I really do. I wonder if I understood if it would even help. I'm not quite sure.

I'm jealous of every girl who has ever

hugged you, because for that one moment

they held my entire world

tears are like kisses,

the only real ones are the ones you

can't hold back.

Never make someone your everything

Because when they are gone you have nothing.

You will never know true pain until you look into the eyes

of someone you love, and they look away.

The scars are nothing compared to the pain that put them there.

Goodbye is only painful when you know you can never say "hello," again.

I read this somewhere and it made me think. It's true. As cheesy and pathetic as it is, it's true. This summer I made this boy my everything, and now that he's gone and found someone else I kind of feel lost. Although I had a "crush" on him that's not what I miss the most. I miss his company. I miss our hour long heart to hearts. But the thing I miss the most is the friendship I thought we had. 

I don't like this one bit

Saturday, the day had finally come. The day where I had to send my little friends off to college. I knew it would be hard, but the brutal goodbye was much worse then I ever thought it would be. Everything was fine when we were driving up there and even when we were moving things in, but when everything was set up things began to kick in.

Kaydee and I had pulled an all nighter before so she was tired, but I was sitting there thinking. Thinking about all the great times we had had with these kids. Thinking about the circle bench that they wouldn't be at everyday. Thinking about the brothers and sisters that wouldn't be there to protect me this next year. Thinking about how they were all moving on and leaving Kaydee and I behind.

When the time came to leave I couldn't handle it. Tears burning in my eyes, rolling down my face. I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to leave them up there all by myself. Kaydee turned to Andrew and said, "Can you come home now?" I lost it. That's when it sunk in that they wouldn't be in the same city as us anymore. They were going to be 2 hours away. A long 2 hours.

Kaydee and I have said for months that we will go up there every weekend, skype everyday, and call Andrew in between every class. But in all reality they will have better things to do. Sure, Kaydee and I will have nothing better to do, but they will. As unrealistic as going up there every weekend is I want it to come true.

I want to go to college. Who needs Junior and Senior year? Not me. Going to school without them is hard. Going to the circle bench and not seeing them there is sad. Kaydee didn't want to go over there on the first day of school because she said, "I'm going to be able to picture Andrew sitting there."

This picture was taken on my phone so it's pretty crappy, but there it is. Random people thinking they get to sit on the bench. I swear. I've been begging many of the Seniors to come back. They may not miss high school, but high school misses them. So please class of 2011, feel free to return to Pleasant Grove High School, it would be much appreciated.

Just some MORE tips : (Sophomore Addition)

Today is Sophomore day. I remember Sophomore day like it was yesterday. Being a sophomore is scary at first. So let me try and help this years sophomores with a few tips:

1. The school really isn't that big, you'll get used to it.
2. There are a million people in the halls on real school days, learn to weave through people.
3. Try not to let Juniors and Seniors intimidate you. They really aren't as cool as they may think.
4. Beyond belief classes get harder, be willing to work.
5. Be willing to meet new people and make new friends.
6. Teachers aren't always as scary as they may seem.
7. The first semester is rough, hold out and it'll get better.
8. There are many bells. Don't let them overwhelm you, you'll learn what they mean.
9. Try not to procrastinate ( I'm a total hippocrate by saying this, but I'm sure it would help )
10. I know that when you are a sophomore you seem to think that you don't have enough time to get to and from classes, you do. There's no need to run.

Number ten is most important. Although, I do love watching people run through the halls. It's pretty much one of my favorite things. Sophomores, high school is a great time! Be excited and live it up!!

Change

The other day I made a change. Kind of a drastic one. It was also kind of a costly change. Probably too much, but schools starting, you have to do something. Right? Many people have commented on this change, but the one person I wanted to notice, didn't say anything. His friends complimented as he looked at me puzzled.

This really shouldn't bug me as much as it does. It hurt. I was excited for his reaction, and when I didn't get one I was hurt.

Currently I have my feeling "on," but I kind of want them to be "off." Clearly I need feelings to be living, but the feelings I currently have, I don't like. They were good at first, but now they are just painful. In a way, I wanted this change to catch his attention. Pathetic? I know. The problem is no matter how many times I tell myself, "You're better off without him anyways," I can't seem to get myself to believe it. I'm not quite sure which I'd rather believe, that you never did care, or you that you just stopped.

Maybe one of these days I will be able to turn the switch to off and stop caring about you.

She :

- Forces me to eat.
- Let's me cry to her about my problems.
- Gives me great advice.
- Offers to buy me school clothes, in which I respond, "You're insane."
- Has a strong impact in my life.
- Is the "Gilmore" to my "Girl"
- Has HUGE dreams.
- Claims she's selfish, when really she's not.
- Makes me laugh.
- Has taught me that boys are always stupid, and really  never grow out of it.
- Is sometimes blind.

And:

- Truly inspires me. Thanks for all you do. Love you!!

So there's this boy . . .

Let's be real, when is there not some boy? I'm pretty pro at switching the guy I like from time to time. This boy writes music, then plays it for me. This boy talks to me for hours just about life. This boy sends me texts that I read over and over again, because they make me so happy. This boy gives me butterflies. This boy knows all the right things to say.

This Summer has been an up and down roller coaster with one guy. Many blog posts have been inspired by him, but then this new guy came around. He makes me feel like there is hope out there. There is hope with another guy. He makes me feel like I deserve someone special.

I really hope you find someone that's worth you. I really do. Some lucky prince is going to sweep you off your feet, and he will be something you cant even imagine at this point.

And the text that made my heart skip a beat:

As much as i would have liked to deny it back then, I always thought you were cute. Well, I still do.

This boy shows me that there are good guys out there. Who would have known? I've been in such a funk over this one boy, but in reality it's not worth it and neither is he. It's nice to know that there is hope out there, somewhere. It's nice to know that somewhere out there, there are good boys that treat you like you are everything and more. You just have to find them.

Just some tips : (Boys addition)

I've been thinking about boys a lot lately, shocker I know. I realize that boys probably don't read my blog or anyone for that matter, but I've come up with some tips. Some tips for boys (in no particular order)

1. Text girls first, it will make their day.
2. Don't say you'll hang out with a girl and then bail last minute.
3. Make the first move.
4. If you think a girl likes you and you don't like them back, tell them. It'll help in the long run.
5. When a girl says "never mind" or "forget it" she really wants you to keep asking her about it.
6. When a girl hasn't texted you for a while she's waiting for you to text her. It's kind of a test, make sure you pass.
7. If you have a girl that's your friend, don't leave her hanging when you find some other hoe.
8. If a girl is holding her arm awkwardly on an arm chair, she wants you to hold her hand.
9. If you notice something different about a girl ask then compliment her on it. She wants you to notice.
10. ASK GIRLS ON DATES

These are some tips that I've come up with. Number 10 is probably one of my biggest tips. I've talked to boys recently who  say they don't ask girls on date in fear of being rejected. It's a legitimate reason, but girls want you to go on dates and they aren't going to be the one to ask for the date, so just do it. I can promise you that a girl won't say no just because she doesn't want to. She may say no because she has something else going on, but not because she doesn't want to go with you.

I thought I'd help some boys out by writing this post, although, once again I'm sure no boys read my blog, but they are here anyways. Take it or leave it.

I'm coming HOME!

It's been three weeks and although I've had many great adventures I am ready to come home. I've been missing my friends and the many adventures we have together. I feel like I've been gone FOREVER! Three weeks is kind of a long time. I have enjoyed spending time in my future home, but it's time.
So today I leave this:

And I coming home to:

Watch out PG, Zoe's coming back!!

Some call me - Dr. Mann

People that really know me know that I love Dr. Phil. I watch him as often as possible and take what he says to heart. I even wrote to him one day and was called by his producer, but anyways. I like to pretend I am like Dr. Phil. People turn to me for advice and I often feel like I help them, but do I really help them? Who knows? I hope I do.

 

One thing I often help with is, relationship problems. It's actually funny, because have I been in a relationship? No. Yet I can ramble off all kind of stuff that in my mind would "help" that situation. I first hand can't tell you anything, because I haven't been there. I often feel stupid when I try and help people with this problem, because in reality I don't know what I'm talking about. This is where Dr. Phil comes into play. Since I watch him and know what he says about certain situations I just say what he says. Am I copying? Possibly, but advice like his deserves to be shared.

I wrote one of my friends a letter while here in California. I thought that this letter would help a little bit with a problem, but I don't know if it really did. Here are a few key points:

I hear you say that you don't know your purpose, but let's be real, who does? I think that we are at the age where we are trying to figure things like that out. We are trying to figure out who we are, what we want to do in life, and in general what kind of person we hope to become. But even as we grow up I don't think we ever really know our ONE try purpose; there doesn't have to be just one. 

It hurts me to see you hurt. I don't want you to feel the way you do. I so badly want to solve your problem for you; make it all better, but I can't. I know that you are strong enough to get through this little bump in the road. You truly are one of the most amazing people I know. Try not to forget it. If you forget, which I'm sure you will, I will be there to remind you.

I was hesitant even thinking about sending it, but I took a chance and sent it. There was a lot more to the letter, but this is all I will share with the blogging world. Even if it helped this person only a little bit, it's worth it. I'm the kind of person who wants to fix everyone else problems. But I can't always do that. All I can do is be there for support.

I've always wanted to be the kind of person who people come to for help and advice. I want to be the person that people can trust and know that I will be there no matter what. If I don't go into law I'm pretty sure I'd be a therapist. So if you ever need a listening ear, I'm here and I don't even charge.

Mather

Dirt, dirt, and some more dirt. Welcome to Camp Mather. Everyone knows I do NOT camp. I just don't do it. I don't like the dirt or the feeling of being dirty. I hate bugs with a passion, especially when they add to my zit collection on my face. I don't know what it is about camping that I hate so much, but why stay in a tent when you could be in your nice warm house? Doesn't make sense to me at all.

Mather is a little bit better. You stay in a cabin and there are showers. My mom and Ellie have been going to Mather for the last 3 years. Ellie of course loves it. She loves the outdoors. I went for the first time last year and then again this year. There is a ton of stuff to do: relax at the lake, water wars on the lake, horse back riding, and many more. Here are some of the things we did:

The Cabin

Water War (We clearly won every time)

Met a random baby who helped us play cards

Played guitar

Braided A LOT of hair

And got some sun

 Although camping isn't my thing, I had a ton of fun!!

Maria Maria

I have been at Don's for the last couple days. I LOVE him! We have some great times. Last year when I stayed with him we went to a restaurant called Maria Maria. I got this HUGE burrito. Basically the size of my head. We had this very attractive waiter and I made a bet with him. He said that if I could finish this burrito he would buy we dessert. My response, "I will take that challenge." So began the stomachache, but I was determined to finish. After about an hour I had finished this giant burrito. The waiter bought me dessert, but I was way to full to eat it.

Naturally when I came this year going back to this restaurant was high priority. Last night we went back to Maria Maria's. After searching the menu for a good fifteen minutes I found the burrito I had had last year. Here is a picture view of this burritos life:

WOW! For some reason I wasn't in as much pain as I was last year. This last picture is for shows. I kept telling Don that I swear the burrito got smaller, but he claims I'm crazy. Here are some more pictures from last night:

 

"SCOTT, BACK UP!!" - Don

Last night was pretty great. Thanks Don and Scott for everything!