Christmas

The tree is decorated, the lights are on, the stockings are hung, and the house is decorated; but it still doesn't feel like Christmas.

Christmas hasn't felt the same in a couple years. I know that Christmas is in 3 days, because that's what I've been told, but it doesn't feel like it. The loss of Christmas spirit I know is because it's different. The way we do Christmas now is just different. People have their traditions and when people ask what are some of my traditions I don't know what to tell them. It's somewhat unknown.

Having two Christmas's really isn't all that and a bag of chips. The traditions you had before are erased and you have to start all over again. What are you going to do with Mom and what are you going to do with dad? Who really knows?

I want the old Christmas feeling back............

Maybe one of these years it will come back!

*Pictures from this year coming soon*

Sometimes I........

- Sometimes I read peoples blogs when I have no idea who they are.
- Sometimes I wish things were the same between us.
- Sometimes I wonder what people are thinking.
- Sometimes I clean when I'm upset.
- Sometimes I lay in bed at 1 a.m. and read picture books.
- Sometimes I fantasize about what life will be like in the future.

- Sometimes I wish I didn't have to avoid you.

- Sometimes I over exaggerate things.

- Sometimes I watch Gilmore Girls till 3 in the morning.

- Sometimes I think things will never get better.

- Sometimes I wish things hadn't ended how they did.

- Sometimes I still wish you were in my life.
- Sometimes I wish I didn't hate you.

- Sometimes I stalk people on Facebook.

- Sometimes I quote movies (most the time SHE'S THE MAN)

- And Sometimes I write stupid blog posts

"Crushes"

"Crushes," we all have them. Some are silly little crushes and others are more serious.

I have had many "crushes". The very first was in day-care. Yes, daycare! I was only five and I thought this kid was amazing. I would try to be around him as much as possible. Looking back I'm sure he thought I was a creep. In 1st grade I liked this kid names Josh. I soon realized that he was already taken by the popular girl, Ashley. My "crush" days ended for about two years, then when I moved to Orem there was a boy in my class that I liked a lot. Both my friend and I liked him, but of course he like my friend. I was so jealous of her. I would go around telling people that I was going to marry this boy and that I would never like anyone else. Silly me! What was I thinking?

Well, we aren't going to go over every single "crush" I've had, because we would be here for awhile. The thing about "crushes" is that deep down you know this guy/girl would never like you back. It's really just a fantasy. No matter how hard you try to impress this person it just doesn't work. Even though you know you have no chance you can't help but like them.

Even worse is when you think you have a chance. You get your hopes up for no reason. When you find out they really don't like you it hurts. You got your hopes up just to have them fall.

We see this pattern in movies all the time.

I saw this movie called. "Life as we know it" last night and it was really good. It was one of those movies that you knew that in the end the girl and boy would end up together. They had always liked each other, but they were both seeing other people. The thought that they had no chance to be with the other, but in the end it all worked out.

Unfortunately life isn't like the love movies. We all wish they were, but they aren't.

Now, I'm sure you are asking yourself why I am writing about this. I honestly don't know. I recently had a little "crush" on this kid. Every time I was around him I got butterflies, and I couldn't help but think about him. It was the gitty feeling you get when you see him. Then one day I found out I had no chance. Once I realized that, the gitty feeling went away. I mean, really what's the point when they don't like you back?

I realize that this post is a little weird. I've just been thinking about this a lot lately. I know though life wouldn't be the same without "crushes." We really would have nothing to look forward to. So please keep "crushing."

You learn something new everyday....

A wise 18 year old once told me something about wishes.....

"Most things that I wish for I end up not wanting within two weeks or less....the things I always end up wishing for now is stuff that matters; like making myself a better person and loving others. The desires for myself almost always fade"

Whether or not this 18 year old was being serious or cheesy I will never know, but I've been thinking about what he said a lot lately.

During the Christmas season especially we wish for things. It may be new clothes, a phone, or even the latest technology. No matter what it is it will eventually get old. New things will come out and if you don't have the latest thing you think you are not cool. Christmas is supposed to be about giving. The possession you will want for Christmas this year will be something of the past next year.

I challenge everyone to try and do some kind of service everyday. It may be something small like opening a door for someone or just smiling at someone. Even the littlest thing can mean so much to someone.

Thanksgiving

There is nothing better than Thanksgiving at the beach!

I got to spend time with family and friends!

The Townsend girls and I




Miles playing soccer

Just thinking!

 

Buried some children



Payton and I



Ellie and I

I have so much to be grateful for 





Memories

As I was going through boxes I found these pictures:

Years later I realize how good I had it back then.

Math Test

If you can't read this it says 93/100 (A)

Please be impresssed!

"Live like you're Dying."

We have all heard the phrase, "Live like you're dying." Two popular songs that have this phrase: If today was your last day by Nickleback, and Live like you are dying by Kris Allen. These songs always make me think. If you really knew that today was your last day, what would you do? It hurts my head just thinking about it.

I've been thinking about death a lot lately. A couple weeks ago a senior at my high school passed away. I know his little brother; we went to elementary together. When I heard of this tragic event I couldn't help but think of him. What he must be feeling, thinking, etc. It then made me think about how I would feel if I lost someone close to me. I couldn't even bare the thought of it.

They announced this Seniors death at school. I was in my English class when we heard the news. My English teacher, who is also a therapist decided that talking about the stages of grief was appropriate for our lesson that day:

•  Denial: Avoiding the problem.
• Anger: Place blame on yourself, others, and/or God.
• Bargain: Making a deal. "God, I will go to church and do everything you want me to do if you don't do this."
• Depression: Absent of feelings (powerless)
• Acceptance: Choice on how to deal.
• Plan: Incorporate the change/future

That night they had a memorial for this kid. His family was there and I couldn't even handle looking at his mom. She was just crying so hard. I went up to his brother after and gave him a hug and told him how sorry I was. He has been so strong through it all. I know that he is hurting inside, but on the outside he is the same kid I have always known. I went to the viewing, and funeral. It was amazing how many teenagers from our school were there supporting his family. It just shows how so many different people from many different backgrounds can come together.

Let this be a reminder to all of us. You never know when someone will be gone. Cherish every moment of it.

HALLOWEEN

This Halloween was pretty much the best Halloween I've ever had.

One day a kid in my business math class informed me that I looked like Helena Carter (The Red Queen on Alice and Wonderland.) I knew that I had to be the Red Queen for Halloween. I went all out!



"OFF WITH THEIR HEAD"





Ellie was a Jedi



The Jedi & The Queen



Here are some more pictures:




Everyone wanted a KISS from the Queen

 

THE GANG!



Random HOBO



Gammon Girls



Julie and I



Wig used as a pillow


I don't think I will be able to top it next year.

HIGH SCHOOL

The halls are crowded, the school is big, classes are harder, and I’m already stressing over grades; WELCOME to HIGH SCHOOL!

This is what I’ve come up with about high school so far:

 

Pro

-I've met a lot of new people

-I have a lot of  good teachers

-Get out of school earlier
-No longer treated like a little kid
-Hour long lunches

 

Con

-Halls are crowded
-Classes are hard
-Waking up at 6:00 a.m.
-Lots of homework


School is school. A couple weeks before school started I thought I was ready for school to start. High school was going to be GREAT! I was actually going to be productive during the day and not just sit around and watch T.V. I was going to get to see people I hadn’t seen in months.

The thing about a new school year is that I wish so bad there were things that could be the same from last year. I wish I could still yell at Mr. Thomas, Mike, and Blaine in the halls. I wish I could still walk in the halls and see Dalton and yell, “DALTON,” and have him yell, “ZOE.” I wish that I could still walk in and talk to Miz. Parson everyday. Just these little things I am going to miss. I wish that I could just pick up people and bring them with me, but I can’t. Looking back at these people I know that they play a huge role in who I am today. They made me think harder than I had ever thought before, they made me realize things I had never even thought of, and they challenged me to be the best I could be.

I have hit the realization that I am in 10^th grade, I’m going to be turning 16 and getting my license, and I am going to be graduating in 3 years. The days may be long, but the months and years go by fast. In many ways I have taken it for granted. It’s going to be over soon and I will wonder where the time went. I am constantly thinking about the future. I fantasize about what I want my life to be. I don’t ever really live in the moment. I am always thinking ahead weathers it’s in hours, days, months, or years. That is something I am going to try and work on this year.

This is going to be a good school year, I can feel it!    

Summer '10

Summer-A time for family vacations, hanging with friends, sleeping till noon, and best of all NO SCHOOL! Once summer begins it’s as if a whole load is taken off of your shoulders. You no longer have to stay up late doing homework or studying for that major test in biology. 

Summer brings a new excitement. It feels as if you can do anything. New adventures with friends, staying up till all hours of the night, and pushing yourself to do things you would never think of doing. This year my friends and I decided that we were going to make a “bucket list” for the summer. We originally had 50 things, but after we added up how much everything would cost we had to cut back; therefore it became 40 things…… 

40 things SUMMER list 

1. Get a job to pay for EVERYTHING!
2. Both abandoned houses
3. The little Acorn
4. Do the splits-Zoe
5. Ride our bikes to Starbucks
6. Smoking Apple
7. Pizza Pie Café
8. Get a tan-Robyn
9. Lagoon
10. Toilet paper
11. Big fire burn school crap
12. Get a pair of vans-Robyn
13. BUY A TURTLE
14. Book club-Jay’s journal
15. Raging Waters
16. Tube the Provo River
17. Road Trip
18. Have a tea party
19. Murder Mystery Party
20. Poker Party
21. Eclipse midnight
22. Go on a picnic
23. Make Root Beer
24. Bake off
25. Will and Grace marathon
26. Who can go the longest without taking their nail polish off-Winner gets pedicure paid by others
27. All Nighter
28. Food Fight
29. Sleep on tramp
30. Whip cream war
31. Ride bikes to Snow Shack
32. Friend Talent Show(Face-Fear)
33. Leave something for Paul the hobo every week
34. Photo Shoot
35. Outdoor Anderson Movie
36. Buy something in bulk eat all in one hour
37. Lemonade stand
38. Spend 24 hours in a bathroom
39. Bologna a car
40. BE A BOY FOR A DAY!

We obviously didn’t get to everything on our list. Although I didn’t do the splits the summer was still GREAT!   

  

Rodeo with Kristin

 

 

Arts Festival



SOPHIE!



The highlight of my 4th of July



AZUL WARRIORS (Girls Camp)



 

 And that was Summer 2010! 









The Pilot

This is the first post of what I'm sure will be many. 

The definition of a blog is : a Web site that contains an online personal journal with reflections, comments, and often hyperlinks provided by the writer.

This blog is going to be full of stories and pictures about my life. The definition above is the exact definition of what my blog will be like.

The idea behind the title of this blog, 'A to Z with Zoe' is that I will be talking about many different things. I am not going to focus on just one thing and one thing only.  This blog is going to be full of random thoughts and ideas. Whatever I want to write about is what you will see.

More to come.....