Today.......is not my day.

As of today I've decided

[ Insert Pathetic Title here ]

I've been hurting a lot lately. I've been missing him far too much. I've been reminiscing about my summer with him, and wishing so badly that things were the same. Some days are better than others, but today is bad. Today I've been thinking about him, and it hurts. Whenever I think that I'm over him something happens that brings me back to the reality that I'm not.

I have recently had this great guy interested in me, and no matter how hard I tried to like him, like that, I didn't. He made me feel like I was the best girl in the world. This boy was a great distraction from the other one that had hurt me so badly. I finally had to talk to this boy and tell him my feelings. I didn't want to lead him on and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. I told him the truth. I told him about this other boy and how I wasn't quite over him.

Everyone knows that I am the Queen of one week "crushes." I should have at least 3 by now, but I don't. I haven't felt that towards anyone lately. I want to be over him so badly. I want to feel secure about things again. I'm sick of my heart hurting. Before when people would tell me they were, "heart broken," I just thought it was dumb. I thought it was easy to get over, but now that I've experienced it, it's not. It hurts. I've never felt this kind of pain before.

Although we shared a summer together it has become apparent  that we have changed. I miss the boy I thought he was. I miss the relationship I thought we had. I tend to see him everywhere at school, but when I see him now, I almost don't recognize the boy I spent my summer with. 

In Remembrance

Ten years ago I walked into my moms room at the exact moment that BREAKING NEWS came on. I was in first grade. I didn't know exactly what was going on, but I knew by moms reaction that it wasn't something good. I watched as they replayed the towers being hit, I watched as the air became full of smoke, and  I watched as people ran around the streets.

As I've gotten older I've learned more about this horrible day in our Nations history. A couple of years ago a movie called, "Remember Me" came out. It was a typical love story until the end. The story was leading up to the attack of 9/11. Thing with movies is by the end of the movie you feel like you know that character. This movie made me cry. It gave me a different perspective.

Today on the 10th anniversary I honor those who lost their lives and the families of those who lost loved ones. They will forever be known as heroes. 

The mysterious note leaver

School is school. And today was just another school day. Nothing good and nothing bad. After school there was a Math review. Not fun! Right after the Math review I was supposed to go to UVU and get my I.D. Then my mom called and wanted me to run to the store. I was agitated. I didn't have time for this. I left the Math review and ran out to my car. As I opened the door to my car I saw a yellow note on my windshield. Swearing in my head, I reluctantly went to see this note, that I then thought, was a ticket. To my pleasant surprise I found this:

"Hi! Remember who you are and smile. You never know who is falling in love with it. Be yourself dearest child."

Not that I was having a bad day, but this definitely made me feel good. Thank you to the mysterious note leaver.

Welcome Back

I haven't blogged in awhile. Whoops! I guess that's what school does to you, it keeps you busy. Junior Year. I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. Classes are hard, homework is overwhelming, and people are annoying. There are some good things, seeing everyone again, actually having something to do, and becoming smarter? Sure. I only have three classes with Mattie, which is not nearly enough considering I don't have any other classes with many other friends.

Spirit Team & English are my two favorite classes. Pre Cal kills me, AP Biology overloads me with homework, and Spanish frustrates me. Mr. Newman is probably one of my favorite teachers. He is hilarious and makes history fun. My English teacher is great. I can only imagine what the new comers think of her. Gordon Moses  makes me want to curl up and die. Mattie and I enjoy the way he says his W's.

I've decided that I kind of miss sophomore year. Did I just say that? I didn't think I would ever want to go back, but I do. I didn't realize how good I had it then. The sophomores this year kind of drive me crazy. I'm pretty sure I wasn't as annoying as them. It's a phase, they'll get over it, hopefully.

It's hard not having my Seniors at school with me everyday. I feel a little lost without them. I kind of refuse to visit the circle bench, because it makes me sad. Until.......

The spaz attack I had when I saw these two sitting on the bench. I love them so much. They make my life better. Christiaan leaves tomorrow for Hawaii. That punk. He truly is the ultimate beach bum. Jono will be around so we don't have to worry there. They made my day so much better. They even brought their pack packs. Just like old times.

People either HATE their Junior year or they LOVE it! I'll try and make the most of it and LOVE it!!