Christmas

The tree is decorated, the lights are on, the stockings are hung, and the house is decorated; but it still doesn't feel like Christmas.

Christmas hasn't felt the same in a couple years. I know that Christmas is in 3 days, because that's what I've been told, but it doesn't feel like it. The loss of Christmas spirit I know is because it's different. The way we do Christmas now is just different. People have their traditions and when people ask what are some of my traditions I don't know what to tell them. It's somewhat unknown.

Having two Christmas's really isn't all that and a bag of chips. The traditions you had before are erased and you have to start all over again. What are you going to do with Mom and what are you going to do with dad? Who really knows?

I want the old Christmas feeling back............

Maybe one of these years it will come back!

*Pictures from this year coming soon*

Sometimes I........

- Sometimes I read peoples blogs when I have no idea who they are.
- Sometimes I wish things were the same between us.
- Sometimes I wonder what people are thinking.
- Sometimes I clean when I'm upset.
- Sometimes I lay in bed at 1 a.m. and read picture books.
- Sometimes I fantasize about what life will be like in the future.

- Sometimes I wish I didn't have to avoid you.

- Sometimes I over exaggerate things.

- Sometimes I watch Gilmore Girls till 3 in the morning.

- Sometimes I think things will never get better.

- Sometimes I wish things hadn't ended how they did.

- Sometimes I still wish you were in my life.
- Sometimes I wish I didn't hate you.

- Sometimes I stalk people on Facebook.

- Sometimes I quote movies (most the time SHE'S THE MAN)

- And Sometimes I write stupid blog posts

"Crushes"

"Crushes," we all have them. Some are silly little crushes and others are more serious.

I have had many "crushes". The very first was in day-care. Yes, daycare! I was only five and I thought this kid was amazing. I would try to be around him as much as possible. Looking back I'm sure he thought I was a creep. In 1st grade I liked this kid names Josh. I soon realized that he was already taken by the popular girl, Ashley. My "crush" days ended for about two years, then when I moved to Orem there was a boy in my class that I liked a lot. Both my friend and I liked him, but of course he like my friend. I was so jealous of her. I would go around telling people that I was going to marry this boy and that I would never like anyone else. Silly me! What was I thinking?

Well, we aren't going to go over every single "crush" I've had, because we would be here for awhile. The thing about "crushes" is that deep down you know this guy/girl would never like you back. It's really just a fantasy. No matter how hard you try to impress this person it just doesn't work. Even though you know you have no chance you can't help but like them.

Even worse is when you think you have a chance. You get your hopes up for no reason. When you find out they really don't like you it hurts. You got your hopes up just to have them fall.

We see this pattern in movies all the time.

I saw this movie called. "Life as we know it" last night and it was really good. It was one of those movies that you knew that in the end the girl and boy would end up together. They had always liked each other, but they were both seeing other people. The thought that they had no chance to be with the other, but in the end it all worked out.

Unfortunately life isn't like the love movies. We all wish they were, but they aren't.

Now, I'm sure you are asking yourself why I am writing about this. I honestly don't know. I recently had a little "crush" on this kid. Every time I was around him I got butterflies, and I couldn't help but think about him. It was the gitty feeling you get when you see him. Then one day I found out I had no chance. Once I realized that, the gitty feeling went away. I mean, really what's the point when they don't like you back?

I realize that this post is a little weird. I've just been thinking about this a lot lately. I know though life wouldn't be the same without "crushes." We really would have nothing to look forward to. So please keep "crushing."

You learn something new everyday....

A wise 18 year old once told me something about wishes.....

"Most things that I wish for I end up not wanting within two weeks or less....the things I always end up wishing for now is stuff that matters; like making myself a better person and loving others. The desires for myself almost always fade"

Whether or not this 18 year old was being serious or cheesy I will never know, but I've been thinking about what he said a lot lately.

During the Christmas season especially we wish for things. It may be new clothes, a phone, or even the latest technology. No matter what it is it will eventually get old. New things will come out and if you don't have the latest thing you think you are not cool. Christmas is supposed to be about giving. The possession you will want for Christmas this year will be something of the past next year.

I challenge everyone to try and do some kind of service everyday. It may be something small like opening a door for someone or just smiling at someone. Even the littlest thing can mean so much to someone.