Bro Tip #4328

If you smell good it makes you 10 times hotter!

The escaped feeling

Tonight I felt something I haven't felt in a long time. A feeling that I've missed. The feeling where your heart skips a beat, because you're with him or the feeling of butterflies when you accidentally touch. I miss the gitty feeling of having a "crush." For so long these feelings have escaped me. I haven't felt like this for a long time. I almost forgot what it felt like. Only problem is the boy that's giving me these feelings is leaving on his mission in t-minus 21 days. I worry that the feeling will leave with him. I will try and use up all the time I have left with this boy. But for now it's good to know that the feelings are slowly coming back.

First Kiss

Every girl dreams of the day she will get her first kiss. The more you get older the more you dream. You get your hopes up for this perfect fairytale scene:

The harsh reality is no first kiss is like this. As girls we set our expectations very high. My expectations were exceptionally high. I wanted it to be the perfect fairytale, but when it came it was quite the opposite. I blame movies for this false expectation. Movies make it look so glamorous.

Sure it was at sunset, but it wasn't how I thought it would be. I was scared. I didn't know what I was doing, but I went for it anyways. After dreaming about it for so long it was nothing like I had hoped it would be. I'm pretty sure I should be twitter patted or something, but I'm not at all.

First kisses are always going to be awkward and quite frankly, weird. But one good thing that came out of all of this is I don't have to worry about the pressure of my first kiss anymore.

High school seems to be harder this year. I'm not quite sure what it is. I don't have much motivation to get my homework done. My grades aren't too hot, and I don't really care. I need to care and I tell myself to care, but I just don't. I keep telling myself that I'll fix it later, but I'm running out of time.

Wonder why this picture is here? Well it's because I got a job at good old Papa Murphy's. That's right. Kind of a big deal. Feel free to come visit. Things are starting to look up.

Today.......is not my day.

As of today I've decided

[ Insert Pathetic Title here ]

I've been hurting a lot lately. I've been missing him far too much. I've been reminiscing about my summer with him, and wishing so badly that things were the same. Some days are better than others, but today is bad. Today I've been thinking about him, and it hurts. Whenever I think that I'm over him something happens that brings me back to the reality that I'm not.

I have recently had this great guy interested in me, and no matter how hard I tried to like him, like that, I didn't. He made me feel like I was the best girl in the world. This boy was a great distraction from the other one that had hurt me so badly. I finally had to talk to this boy and tell him my feelings. I didn't want to lead him on and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. I told him the truth. I told him about this other boy and how I wasn't quite over him.

Everyone knows that I am the Queen of one week "crushes." I should have at least 3 by now, but I don't. I haven't felt that towards anyone lately. I want to be over him so badly. I want to feel secure about things again. I'm sick of my heart hurting. Before when people would tell me they were, "heart broken," I just thought it was dumb. I thought it was easy to get over, but now that I've experienced it, it's not. It hurts. I've never felt this kind of pain before.

Although we shared a summer together it has become apparent  that we have changed. I miss the boy I thought he was. I miss the relationship I thought we had. I tend to see him everywhere at school, but when I see him now, I almost don't recognize the boy I spent my summer with.