It SUCKS!

Nobody likes getting their heartbroken. It's not something someone looks forward to and it's not something you can prepare yourself for. I personally had no idea how much pain a heartbreak could cause, until it happened. I went into a relationship knowing that I was going to get hurt in the end, but there was no way for me to prepare myself for the pain that was to come.

Months have passed and I'm still not over this boy. I've watched as my friend has had her heartbroken and it's brought back so many memories that still hurt. I watch as she hurts and I hurt for her. I like to think that I can help her and give her advice, but how can you give someone advice when you still need advice yourself? I still need closure that I have no idea how to get.

I read this quote the other day, "Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be." It's so true, but in the moment of such heartache it's hard to believe. It's hard to think logically. Friends will tell you to get over him and that you're way to good for him and even though you know it's true, you still don't believe it. You still wonder why and you still want things to go back to the way they once were.

It's hard to talk to people about such heartache when you are 16. Because you can't possibly know anything about love when you're 16 years old. I hate saying that I loved him, because everyone questions that. Telling me that I don't even know what love is. How does anyone really know what love is? Since when does it have one criteria?

To put it into two words, IT SUCKS! I honestly didn't know such pain existed. As cheesy as that sounds it's true. I know that I will continue to get heartbroken, but I wonder if it will ever get easier? I hope so, because this feeling sucks, and I'm tired of feeling it. I'm in a funk that I can't seem to shake. I wish he cared about all the damage he's caused me, but he doesn't. The worst part is, if he called me today and wanted to hangout again, I, without hesitation would do it.